You just made me feel so damn special
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
