I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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