Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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