Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she told me i tasted like america
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize