wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm drive I can fine osifer
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
