I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
