wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
