She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
