dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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