What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
