I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
