If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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