problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
