i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
