You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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