Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
