i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
