HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize