if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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