wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
