woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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