we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
