a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
