i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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