North Korea, Best Korea!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Randomize
