I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
40s are totally the cure
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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