2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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