i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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