her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
