He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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