Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
