I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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