I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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