we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
