I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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