do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
