Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
