There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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