i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
