First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think I just sharted jello shots
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