I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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