arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
