i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So apparently I’m into choking now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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