OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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