Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
