You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
