that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
