Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
