Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
