So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
