And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
