The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
