Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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