why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize