we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
