I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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