today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
