do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
