i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish you could order shots online.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
