ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
