Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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