Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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