Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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