oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
