Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
