K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
